I am typing this up on the eve of my 28th birthday. Yep, I am in my late twenties and nearing closer and closer to my thirties.
I haven’t done something like this before because I can always predict my affirmations would never come true, or I have tried and it doesn’t work out. The reason why I am doing this is that I am nearing three years at my current job and I am at the point of what do I do with my life. What have I done to appease the gods to gain happiness? Have I done something meaningful, something that I can easily turn the page of my life and be satisfied that I have learnt everything.
Just recently, my sister has given birth to her first son. He is adorable and precious, and I am proud of her. Lately, I have been thinking about if I wanted kids, do I want to go through the motions of having a living thing inside me? Or do I want a dog? I can’t decide. But I do want something I just don’t know what it is. I might want something that is meaningful or something that can help me guide my way into my thirties.
One thing I would very much like is a place of my own. I have thought about moving out of my parents place but sometimes it’s difficult to think about all the things I need like furniture and utinsils but not only that a place to put all of my books together (how very bookish I am). I keep thinking that a big pile of money will just fall into my lap and I would use it to get my own place but that doesn’t work, it’s not some cartoon life. I don’t understand half of the time what my brain keeps cooking in my head but it certainly is entertaining up there. I have always liked the idea of living in a cabin in the middle of nowhere, I was even tempted to find a tiny house or a piece of land that is mine and build one but lately I have been interested in a cottage, it’s very English of me to want something like this.
I am such an introvert or it might be because my star sign is Cancer, we are so used to being alone and finding comfort at home instead of a pub. I remember my Dad consistantly telling me that I should go outside and socialise but socialising either online or in person scares me, you never know what or who you’ll meet. I mean of course, my dad hasn’t mentioned that in the past year because we are currently dealing with this virus. Even with some restrictions lifting, it’s still not comforting that that it’s still around and we have to find some stability.
Recently I have been listening to dramagirls podcast which are hosted by the ladies of One Tree Hill, there are only 4 episodes so far and I am loving it. What was interesting was how they were reminising on what was going on at the time while watching the show but not only that but their lives when they were living in Wellmington. It’s one of the reasons why I am reflecting my life. It’s what got me here.
What would I love to happen is to find something that can open this shell that I have wrapped around me. To find something or someone to be by my side and never leave. What would you love to happen to yourself?
Also, My birthday is the 13th of July, the day I am posting this. I hope you are well and happy. Hope you have a great day xx